My How Time Flies

I am so sorry that I haven't updated in awhile! Actually, it's been a long while. Life has been pretty busy around here so updating has been kind of the last thing on my mind.

First things first, there is no baby yet. We are still awaiting his triumphant arrival! And let me say, he is welcome to make his appearance ANY TIME!! I am so tired and worn out...I just want him here! Both Dan and I are excited to meet him face-to-face and just hold him. I want to pinch his little cheeks and pat his little bum. I cannot believe how close it is - just 29 days! I am feeling prepared if he were to come today. The moment I bought a pack of newborn diapers I knew I was ready. Everything else is just waiting for him! I have all these cute little outfits that I look at every day but no little boy to wear them yet! "I will be patient" is my new mantra. LOL!

Secondly, we are all moved into our house! Well, all moved in as in all the boxes are here. We have done a lot of unpacking so far and have the main rooms all set up. My mom has been a HUGE help with that! I've been able to keep on top of doing all the dishes and stuff but she really helped me with unpacking the kitchen and the dining room. She's such a blessing! I love coming down in the morning and seeing my dining room, kitchen and living room all separate from each other. And they're tidy because everything has a place! It's not all crammed into a little apartment spot. Alfie is used to the house now. He's been pretty good about it. He LOVES his back yard which I am really glad we have for him now. Our next door neighbors have a little Pomeranian and a white Lab puppy so I can't really let Alfie out when they're there because he just goes insane! If he was on the other side of the fence with them he'd be scared crazy, but since he's in his territory all he does is bark at them like a mad dog. Hopefully that will change! All-in-all, though, we are just loving the house!

Last Saturday we had the memorial service for Cathy. It was a really nice service. My dad performed it and her Aunt Barb did the eulogy. It was short but very sweet. I don't like the idea of funerals being long...that's just too painful. Plus it was pretty hot that day and I was sweating like a pig! Afterwords we all went back to Peter's place and there were refreshments and great conversation. It was great to get to know Peter's family a little better. I have known Cathy's side of the family before I even knew Dan but the last time I had seen anyone from the other side was our wedding three years ago! Later that evening we went over to the hotel they were staying at and just spent time hanging out with them. What a fun group of people! They're planning to have a Wilson family reunion every year starting next summer. I hope it happens because I would LOVE that! I've always enjoyed family reunions. They don't happen enough!

Anywho, my battery on my laptop is dying so I'm going to sign off before it ends it's life. The cord is all the way downstairs and I will gladly admit that I am too lazy to go and get it! LOL! I'll leave you with a couple of pictures from Canada Day. We spent it in Ottawa with my parents and two of my brothers and we had a GREAT time! I am calling these my 36 weeks pictures. Enjoy!

A Great Loss

Dan and his mom, Cathy

Peter, Cathy, Dan and Me

Friday around 7 o'clock I got the call. The call I have been dreading since the day I married my husband. For the past 3 years every time the phone rang and it was my father-in-law I was afraid it would be "the call." His wife has passed away.

Dan's mom (Cathy) had Huntington's Disease. She started to show symptoms around 39 and for the past 14 years slowly progressed in the disease. My father-in-law (Peter) quit working about 13 years ago to be her main caregiver. He lived and breathed for her. His life revolved around her comfort and her happiness. Everything he did he thought of her first and how it would affect her. Sadly, over the years, Dan and Peter had to watch Cathy fade away from the person she used to be.

Even so, she still had quite the personality. I have only known her for about 3 1/2 years but I remember how lively she was when I first met her. She smiled, she laughed and she would turn her head towards you to listen. She couldn't talk and she couldn't make simple movements (like a gesture to shake your hand) but she was very much aware of everything that was going on. I remember one time my mom and I were looking through a photo album of Dan when he was a baby and she was just glowing! She had a huge beaming smile on her face as we showed her pictures and commented on them. That is a good memory I have of her. She used to like to watch romantic movies and she always responded to them. She liked to watch soap operas and I'm pretty sure she was a Toronto Maple Leafs fan (or so Peter says...lol!)

Over the past year, especially, she seemed to fade more quickly. She lost a lot of weight (despite eating the same amount of food) and came down with a couple lung infections. One of those was just last weekend. Peter had a couple scares with her in the last week but was able to keep her alive without having to take her all the way to emergency. She was on antibiotics and things were starting to look up. She was still having trouble swallowing but the nurse said that once she is done the antibiotics that should subside.

Friday night while Peter was feeding her he noticed her face change color. He gave her a form of the Heimlich but it didn't work. He said it all happened in about 3 minutes. She just stopped breathing. I have a feeling her heart just gave out. She was only about 50 pounds at the time of her death and I think her heart was just to weak. So, Peter called us right away and we went over. We got to spend the last couple hours with her as a family and it was so special. The grieving process is hard but so essential. I am glad I didn't go to Ottawa this weekend so I could be there for my husband and father-in-law.

We are sad that she is gone but we are thankful that she is no longer suffering. Her body is renewed and she is no longer sick. Sometimes the "healing" process comes in a form we don't like to think of: death. Life will be different and we will get used to it. It will take time but we are a family and we have each other. We also have LBW to look forward to! The day before her passing Dan and I were talking about how excited we were going to be to take LBW over to see his mom and get pictures of him on her lap. Unfortunately we won't have that now. But we have her memory and lots of stories to tell. She got to feel my stomach at a time when LBW was moving around. I'm thankful for that!

There is this song that is now reminding me of Peter and Cathy. I know how it is to love someone whole-heartedly but I do not know that feeling of losing them. So this song is dedicated to my father-in-law.

Beautiful
by Amy Grant

I'm looking for a way to feel you hold me
Feel your heartbeat just one more time
Reaching back, trying to touch the moment
Each precious minute that you were mine

How do you prepare
When you love someone this way
To let them go a little more each day?

The stars we put in place
The dreams we didn't waste
The sorrows we embraced
The world belonged to you and me
The oceans that we crossed
The innocence we lost
The hurting at the end
I'd go there again
'Cause it was beautiful
It was beautiful

Some days, missing you is overwhelming
When it hits me you're not coming back
And in my darkest hours, I have wondered
Was it worth it for the time we had?

My thoughts get kind of scattered
But one thing I know is true
I blessed the day that I found you

The rules we stepped aside
The fear that we defied
The thrill of the ride
The fire in our hearts that burned
The oceans that we crossed
The innocence we lost
The hurting at the end
I'd go there again
'Cause it was beautiful
It was beautiful

LBW Has Revealed Itself

I had my ultrasound today! It was so exciting!! I LOVED seeing my little one all grown up since the last time. It was amazing how much it had grown! It looked a lot more human.

He is beautiful.

That's right; HE!! LBW decided that he wanted me to know what he is. Dan wasn't able to be there for the ultrasound because he had to work so I got to surprise him with it. I bought a couple boy outfits and a pair of little shoes and wrapped them up in a gift back. I wrote a card saying "To Daddy, can you figure out what I am? Love LBW." He was really excited when he opened it up! I also got him this cute little book about a little bunny and his father. We couldn't be happier! I mean, we would be just as excited if it was a girl but we are excited to know and picture (somewhat) our little baby boy!

Here are a couple pictures from the ultrasound:

My Body

I am just amazed at my body right now. Things are literally constantly changing and I have no say in it. For awhile things pretty much stayed the same. For a couple months baby was growing but my system was fairly normal and I could still function just fine. Sadly, that seems to be changing.

First of all, I'm going through some insomnia phase. I hate it. I'm tired but I just can't sleep. Maybe there is a lot on my mind (work, baby, our move...) but it's not all in the forefront. A couple nights ago I woke up around 4am and was wide awake. I didn't really get back to sleep until 7ish. Last night I was awake every 45 minutes to an hour but slept really well in between. Tonight I laid down around 8, played some Yahtzee on my iPod but didn't really fall into a good sleep. I started to around 9:30 but woke up around 12 (feeling like it was more like 4) and couldn't get back to sleep. So here I am at 2:45am writing this post...sheesh! I hope this fades a little bit!

Secondly it is like attack of the heartburn right now! Maybe it's the way baby is positioned but it seems like no matter what I do or take (Gaviscon, Tums, water with lemon juice and baking soda) it never completely goes away. I'll eat fresh veggies and try to limit my starches (which gets harder and harder...lol) but it's just coming on more easily then usual.

Another thing is since baby is getting bigger it's actually starting to hurt sometimes when it moves. It'll push against my ribs or my sides and really hurt. And with it's changed position (head down) it's really changed my mobility. I'm pretty sure I'm starting to "waddle" some and if I'm on the couch and using the laptop on the coffee table (like I am now) I can't lean forward for too long. I have to take little breaks and lean back! LOL!

I'm just in awe of all the changes my body is naturally going through and how it's built to handle them. God really knew what he was doing when he created woman.

Doctor's Appointment

Baby is definitely head down...and bum out! LOL! I had my appointment yesterday and all is good. Instead of my OB I had a resident. The hospital I am having my baby at is a teaching one connected with the university here in the city. She was really nice, though. When she was checking baby's position she said "yep, that definitely feels like a head down there!" I was very relieved! I figured it was because there's a lot more pressure on my ribs and lungs. And the bum has got to be forward because my stomach is kind of pointy and really hard.

I'm really excited because I get another ultrasound! I guess at my first one they noticed that the placenta was low and they just want to check and make sure that it has moved. If not then I would probably need a c-section. I really don't want that. I guess 99% of the time it moves up so I'm not too worried. Now there's just the decision of finding out the gender or not. Dan really wants to now but I'm still undecided. It's a big decision!!

One more exciting thing is I haven't gained any weight! Yay!! My weight was literally exactly the same as it was at the last appointment. At my last appointment all I had eaten was a granola bar before hand and at this one I had eaten a whole breakfast...hmmm. Either way, I am glad about that. I also had my gestational diabetes test so hopefully I won't be getting a call on that. I haven't yet!

So, my ultrasound is next Wednesday...I'll let you know what we decided to do!!

Baby Shower

So, next Sunday is my baby shower with the women from work plus some others. I'm actually really excited!! Almost more excited then I was for my wedding showers. I think the reason is it's more for baby than for me. These friends of mine are willing to get together and provide my child with clothes and toys and essentials to make life better for it. I feel so blessed already and it hasn't happened yet! I'll have to show you pictures and tell you all about it after it has happened.

On another note, here is a picture of what my baby is approximately at right now:


I'm pretty sure baby is now head down because I feel a lot more pressure on my ribs. And it feels like it's probably feet and not just a head. It can be rather annoying, especially while I'm sitting down. It makes it harder to breathe...that's NEVER fun! I'm feeling more and more anxious for baby to come. Not in a bad way, just ready to be done with pregnancy. I am enjoying it but I'm just kind of tired of it right now. The last couple of days I've had 2 hour naps!! And STILL slept through the night! I am also excited just to meet this little one!

10 weeks!!!!

30 Week Pictures

The other day in the grocery store I was getting my milk and a woman asked me if I was expecting. When I told her yes and that I am due August 1st she said "oh, well you're not very big!" Hahaha...I beg to differ. I feel HUGE!